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I’ve had Lil’ Wayne’s How to Love on repeat for what seems like days. I don’t usually like his raps but there is something about this song that calms me down and makes me smile. I can barely understand what he is singing but refuse to look up the lyrics in the event that they will take away from the calm that comes from the music.

In other news, I buy magazines like it is my job. They are very entertaining especially the likes of Fashion Magazines with their how to guides and their land a dream man features and make up tutorials. Although I don’t wear it now I am beginning to wonder if my life would somehow improve it I started to wear make up. Then I started watching make up tutorials online. I might not be a real woman, I had no idea how much went into it. Foundation, concealer, primer, blush, bronzer… and that is just the skin, don’t get me started on the lips or the eyes or the magic of contouring. 

Dear Michelle Phan – While your tutorials are helpful – if I could hold a make up brush – and your make up is impeccable and you seem really sweet and elegant you make me feel like less of a woman. I envy you. – Me

I am far off the point. Point is while getting my magazines and crutching to the check out. (Too proud to have Mom come in the store with me because I still can’t drive). So, as I am crutching a man starts walking being me and saying ‘ouch’ every time I land. Our conversation was as follows :

‘Can I help you?” “What did you do to your leg, young lady?” “Broke my ankle.” “Looks mighty painful.” “No, it isn’t. It has been a while.” “You should be using a motorized cart.” “I want to save them for people who really need them.” “You are in need.”

He then proceeds to stand behind me at the checkout without items complaining how modern women are too proud to ask for help and how he would help them if given the change…all of them.  He then offered to drive me to my car. I read that as, having his way with me. No thank you. So to all of the well meaning, please understand that sometimes your well wishes come off as creepy. ie if I don’t know you, please squash your curiosity and do not ask about my condition because it isn’t a condition at all. It is a broken ankle and when I get the ok to walk without the space boot again, I will kick all of your asses.

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